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entry Aug 21 2008, 07:19 PM
I feel it calling to me..

Judgement.

For a long while I clung to the idea that I might be allowed to return again to the land of living and continue my quest. I was willing to do anything, sacrifice anything to the Dark Queen in order to be returned, but I have been graced by Her enough times already to know that cannot happen. Besides, there's a limit to how much evil I can commit in trying to bring about a better future.

I had so much I wanted to do, but I did only what I could. With no help to speak of, I did what I could to fight the corruption in Telantha. It was my war, against that, and the Vek'pem Ahyre. A single man's war is still a war and I pray the Dark Queen will take that into account when She judges me.

It gives me some comfort to know that when I no longer exist, at least, one day, there will be someone else to rise up in my place. The Well is eternal and my spiritual energy will eventually be recycled and given new form. I pray that whatever being inhabits this spark - the desire to make the world a better place - handles the trials better than I did. Then again, I could be a rock, but eventually if I am made sentient again, that is what I'd wish for. Maybe that spark exists in all of us. I feel that it must do, otherwise our choices would mean nothing, and there would be no need for judgement.

I am not angry anymore. I feel a sense of peace and the desire to go. These are my final thoughts as 'Aubren.' Goodbye my daughter, goodbye mother, goodbye father... I wish you well.

 
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